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He almost felt bad. He hoped he hadn’t hurt her feelings too much by being so abrupt. He guessed her heart might be in the right place but after hearing her rendition of “The Killing of Tommy” he didn’t think he wanted to be around her too much. Something about her was just a little bit weird. She seemed like she just wanted to help him get through everything but you never knew with people like her.
He was about to turn around and check to see if she was watching him walk away when he heard an engine roar to life behind him. Stifling the urge to spin around he casually glanced over his other shoulder, the one he would see Maria over if she was there, and looked to see what was going on. The guy who’d been sitting in the parking lot fish tailed out onto the road and squealed tires as he raced away into the fading light leaving nothing but the smell of burnt rubber behind. Wondering what that had all been about, Jim noticed almost as an afterthought that Maria was nowhere to be seen. He again had a strange feeling that he knew the guy acting like a race car driver but just couldn’t place his name.
Shaking his head he put it aside for another time. He kept walking towards his mother’s house trying to figure out what exactly might be going on as he went. He hadn’t found Rob but that was only a matter of time. Then he hoped he’d get some of the answers for all the questions that were floating around in his head.
4
Jim woke with a start the next morning stifling a scream that was trying to rip its way from his throat. The nightmare he’d been having only moments before caused him a slight disorientation which panicked him even more. Images from it kept superimposing themselves over the familiar objects in his room. One minute he was looking at a chair the next minute it was a bush. He was still trying to orient himself when he looked at a poster that had been on his wall since he was ten but instead of the familiar movie star looking down at him it was a beast with dark red smoldering eyes. Stifling yet another scream he shook his head and looked again. This time everything was normal. Well, almost everything.
Unfortunately he was again lying in wet sheets. This was starting to be a regular thing with him. Now that his attention was finally somewhere else the dream he’d been having was quickly fading. Unfortunately, thinking about the creature he thought he saw a few seconds ago triggered part of it to come back. He could vaguely remember something about a beast of some sort chasing him through dark woods he’d never seen before. Every time he thought he’d escaped it he found the thing right back in front of him waiting with its mouth open like it was going to eat him. Just thinking about it gave him the chills. By thinking about it he realized something else. It was the same monster he’d dreamed of a couple nights ago. Having the same type of dream a couple nights in a row was really strange. At least he thought it was. Too bad there was nothing he could do about it. He didn’t want to think about it anymore. If only he could forget about the eyes, then he’d be ok.
He couldn’t understand why he might be having dreams like these. He’d heard somewhere that what people dreamed was a way for their minds to deal with things. What problems he might be dealing with that would make dream of monsters was beyond him though. He hardly ever dreamed of monsters. At least not since he’d been a little kid. The last time he could honestly remember doing it was back in high school.
It was around the same time as…well that was funny. He couldn’t remember. One second he’d been trying to remember a childhood dream and the next thing he knew it was gone. No more memory. He tried to grab hold of it again but it was too elusive. He didn’t know if he should be glad or not. The need to figure out what was going on still gnawed at him. It wasn’t like him to have dreams like that.
Putting dreams aside for later pondering and tiring of lying on wet sheets, he finally rolled from the bed and headed towards the bathroom. He’d planned on going back to town today to see if he could find out what else had changed since his departure. There was also the matter of finding Rob to deal with. He really hoped he could find him today. He needed to find out more about Tommy’s death and Rob was the only other person he could ask.
He thought sleeping on it might make him feel better about the whole thing but it had done the exact opposite. He just couldn’t let it go and accept that it was all just an accident, especially after hearing what Maria had to say. She was weird, but she did give him some more questions to ask when he found Rob. He didn’t know exactly what he thought Rob might tell him but it would still be more than what little he already knew.
On his way down the stairs he heard plates clinking together and guessed his mother was already there making breakfast. Looking at his watch he corrected himself. She was probably making brunch. He didn’t realize he’d slept so late, that definitely wasn’t like him. With his job back in the city he was usually up early everyday so even when he was off on the weekends he didn’t sleep in very late. Now it was almost noon if his watch was to be believed. Dream or not he’d somehow manage to sleep almost half the day away. Mom was at the stove cooking something as he walked into the kitchen.
“I thought you might want something to eat," she said glancing over her shoulder as he took a seat. “Ya know something? You don’t look like you’re eating enough. You’re gone all skin and bones since you were here last.”
It was the same thing every time he came but he was used to it by now so he didn’t even try protesting her observations. It wouldn’t have done any good anyways. Jim had always been skin and bones, his mother just hadn’t seemed to notice. To her he was always too skinny and in need of more food. For being a twenty nine-year-old man he didn’t think he was doing half bad. He still had a full head of light brown hair, hadn’t gained a lot of weight and could still play a game of basketball with guys ten years younger than him. How many guys his age could say that? Most of them were bald with no hair and sat on their butts doing nothing all the time. He’d seen a lot of them while on the job.
He found his looks had never been anything to write home about, but they were his and he was used to them and he had gotten his share of compliments throughout his life so he couldn’t be that bad. Mostly he heard about how cool his eyes were. This would usually be a bad thing if the only thing a girl could find good to say was that she liked his eyes, but he’d heard it his whole life. He didn’t know what was so cool about them though. The only thing he could think of was that they had a tendency to change color depending on his mood. When he was calm they were a nice, normal green but when he got upset or pissed off they changed to a blazing greenish-blue. If that was what women thought was cool then more power to them and good for him. Unfortunately his mother wasn’t mesmerized by his eyes. As far as she was concerned he was who he was and was always in need of more food so he could put some meat on his bones. She was always telling him that women liked being able to feel something when they hugged a man, and if all he had were his pokey bones then that explained why he didn’t have a girlfriend. He would just keep his mouth shut and let her say her piece. He wanted to tell her it was a bit more complicated than just gaining some weight but he didn’t. She needed to think it was something and not just the fact that not that many girls were interested. There’d been a few over the years but none that wanted to stick around for a while. She prattled on and on while he ate. He didn’t pay it much mind. In one ear and out the other, just like when he’d been little.
While he was eating, his mother asked what he was planning to do that day. Not wanting to speak with a mouthful of food he held a finger up telling her to wait a minute. He never understood it but his mother had always been big on talking at meals. Most parents back when he was growing up, wanted their kids to be seen and not heard. Not his mother. She conducted most of her daily conversations in the kitchen during a meal of some sort. That was one of the things his friends had liked about his mom. She was laid back unlike other parents. They ate over at his house every chance they got.
Since he hadn’t had a chance to tell her about it before, he told her in between mouthfuls about his unl
ucky meeting with Maria from the day before. When asked how he’d known her, he told his mom she was an old acquaintance from high school. Even with a day to think about it he still only had vague recollections of her and from those he didn’t think she had been or ever would be what he would call a friend. After telling her some of the things Maria had gleefully told him concerning Tommy’s death he asked to hear her thoughts on the whole thing. She agreed that it sounded strange but that maybe she was just excited about seeing him again. She also told him again that he should find Rob and get information from someone that would know and quit listening to gossip.
With that advice barely out of her mouth he finished his last bite of food and told her that was exactly what he was going to go do. He put his plate in the sink, planted a kiss on her cheek and was out the door before she could say anything else.
He was greeted by a slightly overcast morning that just about accurately reflected his current emotional mood. Dark and melancholy.
Yup, that was him to the bone.
As if to echo the tears that had been falling from his eyes recently it looked like it might turn to rain at some point throughout the day. Not really caring if he got wet he decided to walk to town. It was only water after all.
He wandered down the road and memory lane thinking about his childhood and the things they’d done as they grew up. He was really looking forward to finding Rob. If nothing else at least then he’d have a more familiar face to see. He hoped it wouldn’t be too hard to locate him. He could probably ask around or go to the police station if worse came to worse but if he did that he might run into the sheriff. He wanted to put that off as long as possible, if at all. Hopefully Rob would know something. The two of them weren’t as close as they’d once been, time tended to do that, but he hoped it hadn’t changed things too much.
As he walked towards town he eventually passed the restaurant Maria worked at. Glancing at the windows he quickened his pace a little. Hopefully she wasn’t there and if she was she wouldn’t see him. Just in case he walked a little faster, almost running, until the place was safely behind him. Maria was definitely a strange one he thought looking back over his shoulder making sure she wasn’t there. He still didn’t remember too much about her but he was pretty sure she hadn’t been as weird as she was now when they were in high school. The most he could remember was that she’d been one of the quiet kids who would get excited just by someone saying hello to her. That and the tagging along behind him stuff, but that wasn’t that big a deal. She sure had changed. Now it seemed like she was Dr Frankenstein’s younger sister or something. She seemed just a little too enthusiastic telling him the circumstances of Tommy’s death for Jim’s comfort. It was almost like she’d been bragging or something. She’d really seemed to enjoy talking about it that was for sure. Oh well, he thought shuddering, that’s just how some people are. He didn’t have to like it. He would just make sure he avoided her for the remainder of his stay. It wouldn’t be that hard. He wasn’t really going to be home long enough to do anything so there shouldn’t be a problem. After he was gone he wouldn’t need to worry about her or her gruesome enjoyment of death anymore and that was just fine with him. The sooner everything was over the better.
Glad to be out of any area Maria might be found in Jim realized he must’ve been walking faster than he thought. When he finally took a few seconds to look up he saw he had almost made it to the old grocery store he hung out at as a kid. It never had been much of a store, he thought looking at it. He savored the few minutes he had and studied what once had been so familiar. Back then he’d looked at it with childish eyes. Now he was an adult and saw it not for what he once made it to be, but for what it actually was.
Back when he was a kid it had seemed an almost magical place where he and his friends could get everything their little hearts desired. Now it was just an old run down store that didn’t even look like one. It actually looked like it used to be a house and Jim guessed at one point it probably had been. The place had to be one of the oldest buildings in town so it must’ve once been something other than a store. The only thing that really identified it for what it was now was the old dilapidated icebox setting off to the side of the front door and the old, faded weather worn sign proclaiming the name of the place. Grandmas.
Just seeing the sign raised goose pimples on his skin. He’d been there many a time in his childhood. It was almost his second home. Looking the building over he saw that the windows still had the old homemade decorations up that he and his friends used to make fun of when they were young. He felt bad about it now what with Grandma being retired and all. They’d just been a bunch of stupid little kids looking for something to pick on and the store had unfortunately been it. The little old lady everyone called Grandma, who was the owner, used to take the time each year to decorate just so she could help get everyone into the spirit of whichever holiday it was. Since the store only did local business she’d made the decorations herself to save a little money. They were nothing fancy, just enough to remind everyone there was a holiday and what one it was. Shaking his head he walked up to the door.
Hesitantly he opened the door and stepped inside. He couldn’t help but smile as the door let out a squeal of protest. It had always done that. No matter how much oil was put on it, it still squealed. Taking a few steps forward so the door could close he heard the floorboards groan like an old man under his weight. That was slightly new. They used to make noise but not so much. Of course he had gained some weight since the last time he’d been here so maybe that was it. The place was still the same, he thought looking around, seeing familiar little knick knacks hung here and there.
When he was little it’d been a simple little store where people were always welcomed like family. He hoped whoever ran the place now still kept that same type of atmosphere. It would be a shame if it was gone. It seemed like all the places now were just out to make a buck and screw the guy they were getting it from. Nobody ever took the time to just talk and ask you how you were doing and if they did you knew they didn’t care about your answer. Luckily it seemed Grandma’s hadn’t lost that homey feeling. So far the only thing he could see that was actually different was the selection of products. There were a lot more brand names being displayed than he remembered. The shelves were literally packed. Everything one might need seemed to be able to be found here, which was a good thing since one of the big stores was moving in. If Grandma’s didn’t keep up it would soon find itself going out of business.
The smell of dust hung in the air just as he remembered. He could actually see little pieces of it floating in the stray light. Seeing that he guessed the sun was making a try at coming out today. Just coming to this place seemed to have lightened his mood. He didn’t want dark and dreary anymore. Following the light to where it shone he saw that the floor was still just a bunch of mismatched boards that looked like they were replaced on an as needed basis. Over the years this type of repair seemed to have been done many times if what he saw was any indication. From the looks of it some had been done recently.
Shaking his head with a happy contentment Jim wondered when they would finally break down and replace the whole floor and maybe even the building. They might eventually try to catch up with the times, but he doubted it. He actually hoped they didn’t. This place was part of his childhood and he didn’t want to see it changed one bit. He didn’t think he had to worry about it considering the pace of the town and the people that lived in it. They would probably always stay a few years behind the rest of the world. Nothing had changed in over twelve years so it probably wouldn’t change for at least another twelve if whoever ran things now had anything to say about it. Thinking things like that used to bother him. He used to think the town was useless and wanted out of it as soon as possible. Now he could almost see himself coming to enjoy a place like this.
Jim’d almost finished his reminiscing when he finally noticed one other thing that had changed since he’d left. He should have noticed it be
fore this. Especially since it was staring at him like he was possessed. The person behind the counter was no longer a little, hunched over old lady; now there was a beautiful woman. A woman Jim had never seen before. And here he was just standing there looking off into space like he was the village idiot.
His mother had mentioned Grandma retiring but she didn’t tell him who’d taken over in her place. Seeing her now he wished she had. Jim found himself very pleasantly surprised and yet felt stupid at the same time. He’d been looking around not thinking he might be being watched himself. Trying to look as if he had come in for some purpose he smiled sheepishly and stepped to a shelf and began looking. He stole a glimpse towards the register and found she was still looking at him. Knowing that his ruse hadn’t worked he decided to just go explain what he had been doing.
Walking towards her Jim couldn’t see too much. She was sitting down with most of her body out of view but he guessed her height to be about five two give or take a few inches. Her long, dark brown hair was pulled back in a ponytail that gave her a young look but not a childish one. Quite the opposite in fact. It made her look like an adult who wasn’t afraid to show that she liked to have a little fun now and then. Overall he had to say he liked it. A lot. As he approached she suddenly looked up. He was embarrassed to have been caught staring at her so openly but he couldn’t make himself look away. As cliche as it sounded he was trapped by her eyes. They were the clearest blue he’d ever seen. Oceans couldn’t compare. Her gaze left him speechless. With a great effort, but not really wanting too, he finally was able to look away.